it's monsoon season in Korea. i'm listening to it right now just outside my window. i can smell the rain and feel slight cool splashes through my screen.
i love the rain. especially listening to it at night. i always have.
i've found that those on the slightly depressive end like the melancholy and cleansing sensibilities about it. it reminds me a little bit about where i came from. brings it back down to the basics.
i need the basics these days.
i've been falling apart emotionally b/c of my overanalysis of certain realities and the certain uncertainties.
it been downpouring then receding. then quietly, it builds momentum again.
the rumbling thunder. another downpour.
then awful, debilitating sorrow. splashing and soaking me through.
but tonight.
the rain. cooling the overheated cracked asphalt. bringing relief and beginning to seep into the dusty soil. clearing the Seoul pollution for a little while.
it's finally coming together. my head. after so many years, it finally seems to be coalescing into an image of what my life is. what i need to decide about today. just today. one day.
enjoy the discordant thunder. be happy about love. remember that i Know. remember that i'm of worth and don't need to hide from myself. i need to have serenity about the fact that i may forget.
and it's ok to feel it all--i don't need to blunt the edges w/ my habitual distractions.
this meanders almost psychotically, but i'll remember what it means.
June 28th, 2009. my birthday.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment