traveling and thoughts post-Japan

ok--my travel partner, Will was good to me--in that we *did* have hours of good conversation and he (sometimes unnecessarily) kept a close eye out on me. he also was pretty well-informed about Japan, and seemed serious about studying the language and culture--a respectable venture. however, let me take a moment to vent my spleen about him.

i will NEVER AGAIN travel w/ someone i am not SURE is a good travel-match w/ me.
it is a buzz kill. and i don't want to resent anyone after being on the Road w/ them. here were some of the crazy annoyances:
1) Will clutched onto his GPS like it was a life preserver and he didn't know how to swim--(he actually doesn't know how to swim. hehe~). he was so dependent upon it that he didn't realize that it actually hindered us from getting from A to B.
i like having a map to find things, but wandering randomly and stumbling across interesting people and sights is fun for me. the freedom of being off-schedule and off-obligation is lovely, and something that should be experienced fully. there is very little opportunity to do this during the daily grind. if i'm feeling sketched out or it's getting dark, i'll check the map and see if i can walk to where i need to go.

2) along w/ this, Will wanted to plan everything out to the enth degree and he hated asking people for help.
one of the major joys i have in life is PEOPLE. i find it especially sweet to meet people from different backgrounds and cultures. so, after the first few days of witnessing how Will avoided interpersonal interaction, i decided i would just initiate w/ the Japanese people whenever i felt like it/needed to--despite my non-existent linguistic skills. a funny side bar is that whenever we entered into a social situation, the Japanese people would always jabber at me endlessly, despite my helpless smiles and gesturing. they would refuse to believe i didn't speak the language. Will would then have to swoop in to translate as best as he could.

3) Will kept on leaving me in charge of all of the activity choosing (which is an important responsibility) citing, "it's YOUR vacation".
ARGH! when you're traveling w/ another, both should contribute to the activity planning. that way you might end up doing something that might be a little off-color from your taste, but could be an awesome experience.
anyway, w/ Will being as indecisive as he was, i ended up choosing pretty rigorous physical activities (much to his chagrin). he continually pissed and winged about being sweaty. DAMNIT. i wanted to baby shake him and yell: "grow a pair and just gut it out!" or, "would you please get away from me and go do whatever the hell you want?"

so, those were the annoyances.

but inevitably, the trip was a good one for me--for both of us, in fact. i think i helped Will to see that there is a better way to move through the world than being so self-contained/controlled. he actually complained about how much he planned but saw how things often didn't clock-work out.
i smirked and shot @ him: "really? things usually seem to work out alright when i DON'T plan." (yes, i know. i was being a little salty w/ him by that point.)
Will: "huh... well, you gotta show me how you do that."
me: "the problem with planning is that you think too much about reaching some concrete objective, rather than just experiencing and enjoying the Road."
Will: "but if you don't plan, you don't know what to do or where you're going."
me: "part of the nice thing about 'vacation' and travelling is that you don't necessarily have to know all of that stuff. AND, there are always *people*. i would say that 80% of the people out there at any given time will welcome a moment of connection w/ another human being, you know? and, if there's no one around, you just gotta problem solve."
Will: "i suppose..."

as i mentioned before, Will was a great conversationalist and we had many interesting discussions. though i am now more thoroughly disgusted w/ men, i also have a grudging acceptance of them. this is partly b/c i feel much better informed.
i love being friends w/ men, b/c when you're actually friends, men will just 'say it how it is'. no sugar. they are basic creatures. i like that.