napping during the War

i’m waiting for my male co-teacher to go to a class so that i can sneak off to my classroom for a nap. ridiculous, i know–but again: i’m at school for yet another day of desk warming while the students are preparing for their finals.

i’ve gotten a few inquiries about my reaction to the escalated tensions between the 2 Koreas and to be frank, i’m not worried about it at all. this is not for political reasons or me taking on a laisse faire attitude about what’s happening. i’m just simply not afraid of what is to come.

let’s take a look at the possible negative scenarios:
-worst case: a bomb gets tossed at us in Seoul and i am maimed/grievously injured. yes. that would really suck. i’d be pretty sad and mad if that happened. however, the possibility that i am personally injured in this way seems like a long shot.
either way, being a firm believer that “everything happens for a reason”, eventually i know i’d be able to accept losing an eye or an arm or having some other kind of disfiguration.

-another case: the DPRK invades the ROK. w/ Seoul about an hour and a half away from the DMZ–that is somewhat problematic, of course… but i dunno. my 엄마 told me stories of sitting on the back of my grandfather’s bike and riding away from the Japanese Army during the Korean War back in the 50s. i bring up that little tidbit because:
well, i have a brain–and if an invasion occurred, i would do what i had to do to survive. maybe i’d take the first flight out? or, if that wasn’t an option, i’ve got a few friends in my building w/ whom i would probably pool my resources and make/execute a plan for escape.

-along those lines: let’s say we didn’t escape.
becoming a POW is hardly likely, but if *that* actually happened–well damn. that too would really suck. i can’t even conceptualize what it would be like to be in a POW camp and get beaten up and starved and… whatever else that comes along with that. i’ve actually talked to people who have experienced some of those war atrocities and it’s not something that i would like to endure. but, bad things happen in life. i really don’t mean to sound cavalier in saying that, but you live and you deal. and you try not to lose who you are when experiencing terrible pain and tragedy.

-last scenario: death. let’s say that a bomb gets tossed over here or there’s a sudden attack with tanks and automatic weapons and i end up dead. honestly: oh well.
it’s not that i want to die, but i’m simply not afraid to. i feel very comfortable when i consider what will happen after i close my eyes for the last time. certainly, i hope that a whole lot of pain or screaming doesn’t precede that, but i’ve got complete hope in the outcome of my eternity.

my co-teacher has just left his desk. i will take this opportunity to sneak with a book and some hot tea to the couch in my classroom. maybe i’ll reflect on this very comfortable moment from the middle of a POW camp in a few months/years. who knows? i have no control over that. but, i sure can enjoy and appreciate what is left of today.