there's this woman in my office: mid-50s, cakey make-up, brassy Peach lipstick, and a blaring voice that now grates my eardrums whenever she nears. i am not exaggerating when i say that *every*time that Peach and i get into a conversation, she tells me how badly i need a man. i don't know why i bother to engage her, but i feel this strong compulsion to set her straight.
i know it's partly cultural, but there's some universality in the underlying presumption that every person should be half of a pair, right?
anyway, Peach ceaselessly harrangues me about going out on dates and how i won't be truly happy until i find LOVE, et cetera. last week, she drilled into me during a school 회식. there were seven 40+ year old women plus me, sitting around a beautiful table laden with Korean food. they were all married with children; i was definitely the odd-one-out. all of the ladies made complaints about their husbands at some point during the meal. of course, the topic eventually turned to me and my pathetic singlehood.
Peach wrinkled her nose at me, "i'm sad you're leaving us, but i'm so glad you're going to the university setting."
"thank you," i nodded, "i'm excited about the challenge."
she leaned over to me coquettishly, "i'm glad, because at a university you'll have a better chance of finding a man." she clasped her hands to her chest and dramatically gazed into the distance--(i'm not joking about this. she is *that* theatrical.)
i restrained myself from rolling my eyes, "i'm not in a rush. i'm happy on my own." some of the ladies around the table shook their heads.
"Mary," Peach jabbed a dumpling towards me with her chopsticks, "you really *should* be in a rush."
the assistant vice principal chimed in, "don't you want children?"
i slowly shook my head, "i don't know that i definitely want children." there was a murmur around the table. i shrugged, "i'm NOT going to settle for someone right now, simply because i want to have children... anyway, i've always planned to adopt a child."
Peach began waving her arms, "no! you need to have your own children!"
another lady spoke up, "you're only saying that NOW, because you're having such fun as a single woman."
that is exactly right. tell me again *why* i want to have a husband to complain about?
"being single is fun," i smiled. "i don't want to rush into anything." i was getting tired of repeating myself.
Peach let out a deep, forlorn sigh, "Mary, you're not in a rush because you just don't know what it means to love someone."
"being single is fun," i smiled. "i don't want to rush into anything." i was getting tired of repeating myself.
Peach let out a deep, forlorn sigh, "Mary, you're not in a rush because you just don't know what it means to love someone."
whoa. what? i had been ready to just sit back and let them continue to 잔소리 me without talking back, but that statement pissed me off. i am a nearly 32 year old woman. how can you possibly know what i have been through in life?
in a clipped tone i replied, "actually, i have been in love. i've been in love, and i've been hurt, so i don't want to get into a relationship unless it's really worth it."
Peach protested, "but you have to try--"
i cut her off, "look, i've said this all before. i'm not against dating, i'm just not into the idea of wasting my time. if the right match came along, of course i would be willing to date him."
"butbutbut--it seems like you don't like to go on dates," she sputtered.
"i don't like to go on dates," i said curtly. "i like to spend time with my friends. i like to get to know people over coffee. i go out with guys all the time, Peach--i just haven't found anyone i want to make my boyfriend. i'm selfish. when you date someone, you have to take care of them. i really don't want to take care of someone that isn't right for me."
the assistant vice principal put her hand on my arm and giggled to break the tension, "you two are coming from two completely different perspectives."
i laughed with her, "i feel pretty strongly against dating just to pass the time." i switched the subject to my Japan travels and the terrible railway system out there.
damnit. i am a HAPPY single woman!
well, i'm as happy as i can be. granted, i miss sex. sometimes. but celibacy is much easier to bear than the emotional roller-coaster that comes along with having a meaningless fuck. so, i will be content as a nun.
in a clipped tone i replied, "actually, i have been in love. i've been in love, and i've been hurt, so i don't want to get into a relationship unless it's really worth it."
Peach protested, "but you have to try--"
i cut her off, "look, i've said this all before. i'm not against dating, i'm just not into the idea of wasting my time. if the right match came along, of course i would be willing to date him."
"butbutbut--it seems like you don't like to go on dates," she sputtered.
"i don't like to go on dates," i said curtly. "i like to spend time with my friends. i like to get to know people over coffee. i go out with guys all the time, Peach--i just haven't found anyone i want to make my boyfriend. i'm selfish. when you date someone, you have to take care of them. i really don't want to take care of someone that isn't right for me."
the assistant vice principal put her hand on my arm and giggled to break the tension, "you two are coming from two completely different perspectives."
i laughed with her, "i feel pretty strongly against dating just to pass the time." i switched the subject to my Japan travels and the terrible railway system out there.
damnit. i am a HAPPY single woman!
well, i'm as happy as i can be. granted, i miss sex. sometimes. but celibacy is much easier to bear than the emotional roller-coaster that comes along with having a meaningless fuck. so, i will be content as a nun.
in other news, i did just buy tickets to Indonesia in January. i'm not sure the same rules apply out there. i'll have to see how healthy i feel.
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