a better mood

it's 4:30am, but i'm in a good mood and wanted to record it.

although, i am finding it slightly disconcerting that there is a direct correlation between the elevation of my mood and the number of hours i spend salsa dancing.

at the beginning of the night, i was exhausted. i just wasn't having it. i was tired, cranky, and felt extremely reticent. i think accidentally kinda went on a 'date' with a random guy and i felt annoyed by that. and i think he just friended me on FB. SIGH. i know how bitchy that sounds, but, i just don't want unnecessary people getting into my social/emotional space these days.
anyway, when i got to the club, the friends i salsa with gave me a big shake and bowled me over with questions about where i've been for the past 3 weeks. i threw out some vague answers about busyness and expected to go home early. however, come midnight, i remembered that Friday is Ladies Night at Caliente--it only made sense to drop by. and i'm super glad i did. i danced. and danced and danced and danced. one of the friends i've salsa-ed with since the beginning kept commenting his surprise that i was being so vigorous on the dance floor.
"i'm surprised you're dancing to this regatone."
"why?"
"well, it's kinda like hip hop--and you said you don't like hip hop."
"well, the misogyny bugs me--you know that. but, i've just gotta be in the right mood. when i'm just feeling the music and not listening to lyrics, i don't stop dancing for any reason."
he gave me a hug, "and you shouldn't ever stop dancing."
"aw. and neither should you.... let's stop this--feels a little too emo."
"hey, i'm a sensitive guy."
this made me smile.

i've been feeling kinda bad about myself these days, but, tonight reminded me that my feelings about myself is a state of mind i choose. i'm certainly aware that i'm not the prettiest. or the sexiest. and i realize that i come off like a snob sometimes.
i know i've said this before: but i guess, when i'm dancing, i look like i'm super fun and approachable--and random people are attracted to me--(both men and women). it's pleasant that people notice this, and it's a great, low commitment way to meet people.

i met this fun Finnish girl who's traveling the world right now. she's super sweet and i figure i'll hang with her a few more times during her sojourn in Seoul.
there was this African American guy who was a great dancer, but he was coming on really strong. he asked those typical things like if i had a boyfriend and blah blah, but he totally respected that i didn't want to take his number.
these two Korean ladies i met in my salsa class were also at the club and they were really excited to see me for some reason. they seem like they might be a little older, and all-out-dancing until dawn doesn't seem like par for the course for them. anyway, we had a ton of fun shaking our bodies to the music and i figure they'll be people i end up calling up to hit the dance floor in the future.
and finally, there was this Korean guy i danced a bunch of the merengue, bachata, and salsa numbers with. we closed out the club together, ate some noodles in a tent on the street, and then he drove me home. in his really nice BMW. and then tried to kiss me. ugh.
the attention was gratifying and hell, i miss having someone touching my skin, but i can't handle those kind of complications right now.
all of these male encounters today were a little much--but, at least all of them were sober when they hit on me. it seems like it's been a while since a sober guy hit on me.

all in all, seeing my friends and the hours of dancing elevated my mood. the night feels like a success.