workingworking

Sunday night.
i just finished my Spring semester on Thursday, but i had to prep for summer school which starts... tomorrow.
phew. i'm exhausted. it feels surreal to have completed such an enormous task, only to be thrown into another. i'm also kinda stressed, but still looking forward to teaching a new set of students. it'll be another interesting challenge.

"do you think your job is too stressful for you?" one of my friends asked me this today. i'm not exactly sure what drove her inquiry, but it gave me a moment of pause.
"no. not really."
"but you're always so busy and stressed out all the time," she protested.
"but i really enjoy what i do... and actually, it's not so much the job that creates the stress--i create my own extra busyness when i'm at work."

i'm a psycho perfectionist when it comes down to things that matter to me. thus, when i get invested in something, i will absolutely lose sleep over it. in fact, that's probably a good gauge for assessing how much anything matters to my person. if i'm not losing any sleep over it, it probably doesn't have much intrinsic value to me.

that's probably pretty bad for my health. i am in constant need of stimulation. i can see the effects of this on my body. i know i'm aging--probably more quickly than before. i've got handfuls of grays sprouting, and this makes me wonder if i should try to "relax" more. but, relaxing seems boring to me.

well, tomorrow's a new thing. a month of crazy lesson planning and meeting people and trying to get my life/head together. following that, i'll have a week off, then i'll work a summer camp, have another week off and then, the Fall semester begins. 16 weeks later, i'll have 10 weeks to "relax". i think i'll be going back to Indonesia. or... Vietnam and Malaysia. or all three... i've gotta start thinking on that.