electronic paper cut

oh fuck.
why do people bother to be snide? what is the utility of it? is it a search for the proof of the power you might have over them?
and moreover and over: why bother tossing weak acid on people w/ whom the familiarity and the association has ended?

let's press that dull knife against that skin and see if it'll break through a layer or two. see if it'll hit four chambers or a pancreas or something.

i hated to press 'send' but i did. i had to. there were some important legal questions. for 2 seconds, i hovered over a figurative button on a computer screen. then i shrugged a shoulder and drifted into that minor little click...
when drew my hand back and casually tossed that airplane into the electronic ether, i didn't think about the message or the recipient. i saw the lilting flight of paper on uneven breaths of air. veering to and fro and curving around unseen crests.

i forgot how precise my aim would be.
this forsaken internet. there is no room for romantic daydreams about the lyrical flights of paper messages getting caught up on the wind.

you don't always think about how someone else's heart is still beating when you don't feel like remembering them. well, i don't anyway. they are like hazy dreams and haphazard images. no minds or intentionality. why would they think of you any differently than you think of them?

pretty please. just forget my name.

why run at me so deliberately with a flimsy point? can i not just fold into hazy dream? and tell me: what is this slight sting?

sigh. i think i need to go ask these befuddling questions to a piece of buttered toast. and maybe a piece of chocolate and 6 cigarettes. and of course, Jesus.