Friday psalm

in this river
on this piecemeal raft, i sit
taking hold of these ropes
fashioned of strands of grass
i love these loops and ties
to connect to
all of you
today--this very real day
over these waters
we are flowing down

sometimes these rippling waters carry us lazily
we fondly touch hands
braid hair with curious fingers
exchanging thousands of words
the shifting of silent lips
remembering faces
each feature
we melt into one another
staring into the dandelion sky or
one sees the sun
while the other watches the crescent moon
but we can still touch--we are still touching
melting into
each
the other

periodically pensive
but always carried forward stream
quiet water seeping between curled toes
the sweet aloneness that causes sweet ache
passing all of that verdant foliage
i try to remember the names of trees and plants
but when i close my eyes
these names, shapes
they have been fading
losing color, this is bad
i must keep those eyes open

sometimes i imagine that all of this
these hydrogen-oxygen atoms we float on
these waving, fluttering green hands that surround us
the horizons of purples and blues and golds
is this a self-constructed dream?

but i have touched them
we've all been touched
pierced by these colors
these small greennesses as they cleave their shells
these minor cuts, slight stings

and also crashing
flowing downward downward
it pulls me, you, all of us
downward on this river
these liquid arms drawing and towing
us
wondering where it's all going
lightning crashing
crooked bare branches
and i weep
we weep
because we don't know where You are

i wonder
how long will i travel this way?
intermittently calm
but often
soaked and broken
bone chilled wintery
without volition?
or is this way volitional as well?
this choice to not paddle towards a shore?

i wish to resist this deepening languor and keep watching
waiting for that winking firefly
i wish to wait for that quickening in my spirit
that something that keeps my heart beating
please tell me
does your heart stir as well?

i know i must be brave
more than courageous
to abandon this raft
will you dive with me?
into these waters
whether warm or icy?
it might be too much to ask

but one day
the bright flickering flame
maybe you'll watch me
or maybe i'll follow you
thrusting off
diving into the swirling hydrogen and oxygen
joyfully
swimming as hard as we can
because together
we caught glimpse
of that quickening light