throwing up in my mouth a little

와!!! 야!!!! 짜찡나!!!!
사람들 왤르케 잒음안 건들여??!!?

i was feeling so annoyed and bitchy and irritable yesterday. i thought that an evening of curling up w/ a book and tea and then 9 hours of sleep would cure me.

but NOO. apparently, i'm going to be as pissy today as i was yesterday. this does not usually happen to me--@ least it hasn't in a while. i don't know what's wrong w/ me, but i've been feeling quite flustered and frustrated every time i've turned around for the past 72 hours
those stupid bland remarks about
NOTHING
those dumb people slowly meandering down the crowded streets, blocking my forward motion
that crazy sales girl that wasn't receiving my leave-me-alone signals--she followed and followed me around
squeezing a litany of skin care products onto the back of my hand
AAAHHH!!! leave me alone!!

and why are there so many people who pretend to listen just because they want to give you all of their unasked-for expert advice
about
your life
i was feeling especially annoyed about those glam girls w/ their botox and surgery and perfect makeup
who never wash their hands after leaving the stalls
yuckyuckyuck!!
everything feels so dirty
this is why i got food poisoning
and i've had to listen to forever bitchy whining about how shitty life is--by someone who's life really isn't so bad--ARGH!
damnit.
i guess i'm guilty of this right now too, huh?

but i'm so sick of smiling when i don't feel like it
i'm sick of fucking playing along
with every
one
every
thing
dodging around those meandering crowds
blocking my way
i'm sick of nodding and keeping an even tone
those Korean Koreans who glare at me b/c of some cultural faux pas i don't fully understand--i am NOT Korean damnit!

i'm a selfish beast

i'm so tired
i'm over thinking things
everything

i'm going to try that book and a cup of tea again
or maybe another book
or maybe some prayer
or maybe some soju
or maybe some Midol--damnit! can't find that in this country
or maybe a smoke
damnit
maybe i'll have to cry it out tonight